Have you been through difficult seasons in your life? Do you feel like you can’t move forward because the things from your past have a hold on you?

I am here to tell you today you can take back control of your life. Don’t blame other people for where you are in life. Maybe they did cause you pain…..maybe they hurt you, but that was then and this is now. Blame is useless and makes you a victim in the present. I understand you WERE a victim, but that can all be behind you. If you stop blaming others….stop blaming yourself… you CAN take back control of your life.

Too often we spend our present time dwelling on things of the past. We have a non-stop pity party about how wronged and how hurt we were. It’s possible the person who hurt you should have been the one protecting you. They were wrong and they are to blame for the scars you bear either emotionally or physically. Now what?

Take control!

I’ve been hurt and I have played the blame game a time or two in my life, but it got me no where. I had to make the decision to take control of my life. My situation didn’t change overnight, but the moment I decided to take control it was mine for the taking.

I had to assess my current state. Did the past hurt, leave wounds that were unhealed, or had I continued to pick at them so they couldn’t heal? What did I need to do to take the very next step? Here are a few strategies I used. I think they will help you start to take control.

  1. Pray- I took my wounds, my hurt and my brokenness to God. I didn’t ask him “WHY me?”….I simply told him how I felt in that moment. I was honest about why I hadn’t moved on from it, why I hadn’t let go of the hurt.
  2. Read the Bible-I started reading my bible more…and became consistent in my bible reading. I know God is good, but I needed to be reminded of His power. I would need HIS power to move on and let go. While reading the bible I took notes and recorded every time God did something amazing. (Spoiler Alert: He ALWAYS did something amazing!)
  3. Self-reflection: Did you contribute in anyway to the hurt you experienced? Sometimes we make decisions we know we shouldn’t and then when the worst happens we want to blame someone else. For example you see a snake you pick it up and then become angry with the snake because it bit you…….well you knew it was a snake right? I know sometimes you were a victim and played no role in your abuse. This is important…… you can’t find how you contributed if you didn’t….just take an honest look at yourself and see if there is anything that can be learned from it.
  4. Forgiveness- Forgive whoever is to blame for your hurt. It doesn’t matter if they ask for it or if they deserve it. Forgiveness is for you. You can’t move on until you have forgiven them. You might find that you need to forgive yourself.
  5. Let go and let God- I think for many other people this step would have been the first. For me…with where my faith honestly is…it took time and prayer and God’s word before I could truly let go of the past hurts holding me back. Maybe this will be step number one for you and that’s great, but for those of you who don’t let go as easily (right now) God will still be faithful to you….to us….. even when we have such little faith in him.
  6. Move on-What has God called you to do? This is time to start living the life God has called you to live. You have taken a season to heal, but NOW is the time to live. Someone out there is hurting, someone has an urgent need and you have exactly what it takes to fill that need or lead them to healing.

Taking control isn’t easy, but will you continue to live your life as a victim never truly experiencing God’s joy and peace or will you stop blaming and start living the victorious life God intended? The choice is yours!


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